Friday, June 26, 2009
RIP Whacko Jacko
:-/
Already famous for our infamous lack of political correctness here at SAS G-HQ, we're back again after a brief hiatus, to refuel the burning torch of mental sickness by sickly pointing out the sickness of others: Whacko was a Sicko and media the world over is too, as are a whole lotta human beans. Witness the Beeb's 24-hour love-fest of "Micheal was the greatest gawddam rocker who ever ficking lived!!! He was the ficking best!!! He was fucking King!!! (Hey, Wasn't King the name of one of his critter-pets?) OMG we-gotta canonize Jacko 10x over & we gotta do it Now-Now-Now!!!"
Here's a perv' who we believe fornicated w/apes & kiddies & llamas, probably fruits & vegies too, not to mention the illegal and actionable commission of child endangerment by dangling a baby off a balcony, much to the screaming, adoring delight of screaming, adoring Jacko Sicko fans. "Drop him, Drop him, see if it bounces!" Boy-o-boy Alice Cooper, have I got a lyrics line for you baby.
Meanwhile, our first (and hopefully last) test-firing of the "Potato-Cannon Rapid Deployment Squirrel Launcher" did not go so well. Throwing good sense and all caution to the wind, Secret Attack Squirrel insisted that he be the first live projectile.
Bravely stepping (i.e. squirming & clawing his way) into the very breach of unimaginable danger (aided by some impolite back-end stuffing by Black Jack Brisko) the launch tube was capped, its combustion chamber filled with a copious charge of propane, a match was applied to the fire-hole and...
...just at that moment Little-Willie Billie, who was holding the launch-tube's muzzle in his role of Elevation Control Officer, suffered an irresistible itch that just had to be scratched (we're blaming a flea for this) and he dropped his end of the barrel just as SAS left the launcher at an inconceivable velocity of what has been guesstimated at somewhere north of several-hundred-thousand feet per second. Unfortunately, this fired Sas broad-side & point-blank into the side of a neighbor's house but lucky for him, it was a slightly glancing blow, so he ricocheted harmlessly and splashed-down safely in a nearby fishpond...he was soon revived but, I fear, he will forever have an exceedingly flat face---which is not very becoming to any squirrel, especially a Super-Hero Flying Squirrel! Also, he's been acting rather strange lately, walking it little circles and mumbling something about moving Mrs. White's house twelve giant squirrel-hops to the right, whatever that means.
We'll get back to yuh later.
...
Already famous for our infamous lack of political correctness here at SAS G-HQ, we're back again after a brief hiatus, to refuel the burning torch of mental sickness by sickly pointing out the sickness of others: Whacko was a Sicko and media the world over is too, as are a whole lotta human beans. Witness the Beeb's 24-hour love-fest of "Micheal was the greatest gawddam rocker who ever ficking lived!!! He was the ficking best!!! He was fucking King!!! (Hey, Wasn't King the name of one of his critter-pets?) OMG we-gotta canonize Jacko 10x over & we gotta do it Now-Now-Now!!!"
Here's a perv' who we believe fornicated w/apes & kiddies & llamas, probably fruits & vegies too, not to mention the illegal and actionable commission of child endangerment by dangling a baby off a balcony, much to the screaming, adoring delight of screaming, adoring Jacko Sicko fans. "Drop him, Drop him, see if it bounces!" Boy-o-boy Alice Cooper, have I got a lyrics line for you baby.
Meanwhile, our first (and hopefully last) test-firing of the "Potato-Cannon Rapid Deployment Squirrel Launcher" did not go so well. Throwing good sense and all caution to the wind, Secret Attack Squirrel insisted that he be the first live projectile.
Bravely stepping (i.e. squirming & clawing his way) into the very breach of unimaginable danger (aided by some impolite back-end stuffing by Black Jack Brisko) the launch tube was capped, its combustion chamber filled with a copious charge of propane, a match was applied to the fire-hole and...
...just at that moment Little-Willie Billie, who was holding the launch-tube's muzzle in his role of Elevation Control Officer, suffered an irresistible itch that just had to be scratched (we're blaming a flea for this) and he dropped his end of the barrel just as SAS left the launcher at an inconceivable velocity of what has been guesstimated at somewhere north of several-hundred-thousand feet per second. Unfortunately, this fired Sas broad-side & point-blank into the side of a neighbor's house but lucky for him, it was a slightly glancing blow, so he ricocheted harmlessly and splashed-down safely in a nearby fishpond...he was soon revived but, I fear, he will forever have an exceedingly flat face---which is not very becoming to any squirrel, especially a Super-Hero Flying Squirrel! Also, he's been acting rather strange lately, walking it little circles and mumbling something about moving Mrs. White's house twelve giant squirrel-hops to the right, whatever that means.
We'll get back to yuh later.
...
# posted by call me crazy @ 7:41 AM 
