Monday, June 15, 2009
It's Deep Bow time.
Yes boys & girls it's true: Secret Attack Squirrel is taking a much-deserved & way-overdue deep bow right now, even as this reporter reports it.
What's the auspicious occasion for this auspicious event? Ha! It's been publicly intimated by a high-ranker in a high place in a low-spot in Maryland in just barely not uncertain terms that the evil x-warlard veeper Dicker Cheaney actually wants US to be attacked just to prove that he's better'n Boo.
Of course, Sas has been saying all along that the worst-of-the-worst neocons are and have long been all in favor of terrierist attacks on US because this foments fear--Fear being a fantastically powerful weapon which only they, the evil neocons, know how to use to utmost efficiency. Indeed, we here at SAS Global HQ recall one truly icky-evil necon once-upon-a-time actually saying (about 9-11) that, "...sometimes fate hands you a truly wonderful gift."
It goes without saying that everyone here on Sas's squad was outraged by that outrageous remark!,,,and doubley so when absolutely nobody with a pulpit called for that dirty rotten bastard to be boiled in camel spit until his eyes popped out of their greasy, wicked little orbits. Why, it was so bad that our mighty-brave Secret Attack Squirrel swooned and lay prostrate beneath the corner-cabinet for many hours and then, after reviving, babbled incoherently for two days running. This reporter and Sas's whole EMT (Emergency Management Team) were at a loss what to do, which reminds us...
We're still a little short of paws here at SAS G-HQ because many of Sas's original crew members have not returned from that fateful fartbomb detonation of over three years past and they are presumed either irretrievably lost, dead, deranged, or possibly devolved back to their natural state of squirrely and not very smart wildness...plus we suspect on fairly solid grounds that at least one may have actually been blasted completely out of Earth's orbit...that was one hell of a fartbomb.
What we're getting at: WANTED: A few brave squirrels to join Secret Attack Squirrel's Secret Team of Secret Squirrels, aka the SAS STSS. All successful candidates will each receive a really spiffy, neat-oh! stick-on shoulder patch (i.e. no painful and unsightly stitches required).
Inquire within your own minuscule braincase.
What's the auspicious occasion for this auspicious event? Ha! It's been publicly intimated by a high-ranker in a high place in a low-spot in Maryland in just barely not uncertain terms that the evil x-warlard veeper Dicker Cheaney actually wants US to be attacked just to prove that he's better'n Boo.
Of course, Sas has been saying all along that the worst-of-the-worst neocons are and have long been all in favor of terrierist attacks on US because this foments fear--Fear being a fantastically powerful weapon which only they, the evil neocons, know how to use to utmost efficiency. Indeed, we here at SAS Global HQ recall one truly icky-evil necon once-upon-a-time actually saying (about 9-11) that, "...sometimes fate hands you a truly wonderful gift."
It goes without saying that everyone here on Sas's squad was outraged by that outrageous remark!,,,and doubley so when absolutely nobody with a pulpit called for that dirty rotten bastard to be boiled in camel spit until his eyes popped out of their greasy, wicked little orbits. Why, it was so bad that our mighty-brave Secret Attack Squirrel swooned and lay prostrate beneath the corner-cabinet for many hours and then, after reviving, babbled incoherently for two days running. This reporter and Sas's whole EMT (Emergency Management Team) were at a loss what to do, which reminds us...
We're still a little short of paws here at SAS G-HQ because many of Sas's original crew members have not returned from that fateful fartbomb detonation of over three years past and they are presumed either irretrievably lost, dead, deranged, or possibly devolved back to their natural state of squirrely and not very smart wildness...plus we suspect on fairly solid grounds that at least one may have actually been blasted completely out of Earth's orbit...that was one hell of a fartbomb.
What we're getting at: WANTED: A few brave squirrels to join Secret Attack Squirrel's Secret Team of Secret Squirrels, aka the SAS STSS. All successful candidates will each receive a really spiffy, neat-oh! stick-on shoulder patch (i.e. no painful and unsightly stitches required).
Inquire within your own minuscule braincase.
# posted by call me crazy @ 1:16 PM 
