Monday, January 02, 2006
The "Ohwoeisme" factor:
;
Repeatedly struck dumb by the Democratic Party's pitiful lack of [team-playing] inititive for hanging this pwezidunce with his own rope---and there's plenty enough to go around that scum-sucker's slimy neck several hundred times---Secret Attack Squirrel has slipped into a persistant state of staring blankly through crossed eyes. Needless to say, this condition is not conductive to safe navigation: neither in the air, on the ground, nor out on a limb. Therefore, SAS's Personal Safety Evaluation Panel (PSEP) not only grounded our intrepid super-hero, but went as far as inflicting enforced confinement to quarters...this has been achieved by stapling Secret Attack Squirrel's tail to the flight-hanger's wooden floor.
At first blush, Secret was unaware of this new-fangled restraint system and attempted an emergency take-off when that first staple pierced fur, skin and bone with one resounding "Whack" of the Stanley pro'-grade stapler---the ensuing, tightly-constricted circlular full-speed flight pattern has given new meaning to the term "tail spin", and the resultant sounds were, to put it kindly, remarkable!
Observing what appeared to be an emotional state of high panic with no immediate end in sight, one member of the SAS Emergency Response Team swung into action with a butterfly net, but, regrettably, Secret's hyper-velocity and super-hero thrust were so great that the ERT member was swept into the howling vortex so suddenly that the "quick release" was just a tad too slow and that unfortunate squirrel was last seen on a sweeping trajectory far over distant railroad tracks six bocks to the south...we can only hope he lands on soft ground.
Meanwhile, Secret Attack Squirrel's tail-spin rotation has slowed to a leisurely 42 rpm and now, all we can do is wait...presumably for the fuel to run out.
Cork-screws at eleven.
Repeatedly struck dumb by the Democratic Party's pitiful lack of [team-playing] inititive for hanging this pwezidunce with his own rope---and there's plenty enough to go around that scum-sucker's slimy neck several hundred times---Secret Attack Squirrel has slipped into a persistant state of staring blankly through crossed eyes. Needless to say, this condition is not conductive to safe navigation: neither in the air, on the ground, nor out on a limb. Therefore, SAS's Personal Safety Evaluation Panel (PSEP) not only grounded our intrepid super-hero, but went as far as inflicting enforced confinement to quarters...this has been achieved by stapling Secret Attack Squirrel's tail to the flight-hanger's wooden floor.
At first blush, Secret was unaware of this new-fangled restraint system and attempted an emergency take-off when that first staple pierced fur, skin and bone with one resounding "Whack" of the Stanley pro'-grade stapler---the ensuing, tightly-constricted circlular full-speed flight pattern has given new meaning to the term "tail spin", and the resultant sounds were, to put it kindly, remarkable!
Observing what appeared to be an emotional state of high panic with no immediate end in sight, one member of the SAS Emergency Response Team swung into action with a butterfly net, but, regrettably, Secret's hyper-velocity and super-hero thrust were so great that the ERT member was swept into the howling vortex so suddenly that the "quick release" was just a tad too slow and that unfortunate squirrel was last seen on a sweeping trajectory far over distant railroad tracks six bocks to the south...we can only hope he lands on soft ground.
Meanwhile, Secret Attack Squirrel's tail-spin rotation has slowed to a leisurely 42 rpm and now, all we can do is wait...presumably for the fuel to run out.
Cork-screws at eleven.
# posted by call me crazy @ 4:18 AM 
