Sunday, January 08, 2006
doowoop...
00
Writing in the heat of a very heated and exciting moment on Friday, this reporter got mixed up about two mystical mythical critters: towit, a bird re-arising from ashes (ie Phoenix) was NOT seen on the banner on that speeding flattery wagon that T-boned Secret Attack Squirrel---that image was acutally a critter with a lion's body, wings and the head & chest (ie boobs) of a woman...presumably human. Our apologies, but one must recall...
As you may rememeber from our last episode, Secret Attack Sqirrel and the SAS Emergency Response Team (ERT) had gotten themselves entangled together in a discarded hairnet, fallen out of their tree and were scapping it out on the ground in a vigorous and contensious debate over how to best extract themselves from the situation...but no two could agree on a sigle point, ergo things were going down hill fast when Black Jack Brisco overheard this vociferous and violent controversy and came to investigate.
Brisco's initial assesment suggested swift action and he was on the brink of throwing himself into the battle, but them some unfathomable second thought arrested his approach: he sat down...not easy, nor particularly comfy on a hideless & wire-stiff fused skeletal tail. But sit he did, and in that gentle repose merely observed the melee, presumably waiting patiently to see how events would ultimately unfold.
As events unfolded to Black Jack's perspective, we surmise he must have been thinking he'd just wait until SAS and the ERT wore themselves out, and then pounce for a simple mop-up operation. However, wanting to get a closer look at the meyham, he moved in closer---too close: clearly, he was unaware that Secret Attack Squirrel had earlier slammed down a prodigous breakfast of left-over chili con carn mixed with left-over chili with beans, all of it washed it down with two 16oz bottles of Pepsi and three (WAY-long date-expired) cans of Jolt soad. (Note: this reporter as since learned that the left-over chili was over two-weeks old and had been unrefrigerated, which spells "Fermentation" with a capitol "F".)
We cut to the chase: All who have been following these super-heroic adventures of Secret Attack Squirrel and his crew are aware that his weapon of choice is the infamous, incidious, "fartbomb", and such are prone to an accidental release at any moment. Well, Black Jack Brisco was just two feet away when it happened: an accidental fartbomb release in the midst of the ERT, the four of them together tightly wrapped up in a discarded hair net. Well this was no ordinary fartbomb: the propellant (recall the chili etc) has sinced proofed out at over 90% pure methane, and the ensuing "six ways to Sunday" conflagration goes beyond the pale of of this reporter's language skills.
So let it sufice to say just this: Black Jack Brisco, Secret Attack Squirrel and the ERT all went ballistic in that mushroom cloud of indescribable horrors and the restraining strenth of that old hair-net was just no match for the combined energies of four totally freaked-out squirrels: all have (presumably) gone their seperate ways at mach+ speeds, leaving only smoke-streaks & con-trails to evidence the multiple directions of the manifold, super-sonic departures...
We'll let you know when (if?) any return to safety.
Writing in the heat of a very heated and exciting moment on Friday, this reporter got mixed up about two mystical mythical critters: towit, a bird re-arising from ashes (ie Phoenix) was NOT seen on the banner on that speeding flattery wagon that T-boned Secret Attack Squirrel---that image was acutally a critter with a lion's body, wings and the head & chest (ie boobs) of a woman...presumably human. Our apologies, but one must recall...
As you may rememeber from our last episode, Secret Attack Sqirrel and the SAS Emergency Response Team (ERT) had gotten themselves entangled together in a discarded hairnet, fallen out of their tree and were scapping it out on the ground in a vigorous and contensious debate over how to best extract themselves from the situation...but no two could agree on a sigle point, ergo things were going down hill fast when Black Jack Brisco overheard this vociferous and violent controversy and came to investigate.
Brisco's initial assesment suggested swift action and he was on the brink of throwing himself into the battle, but them some unfathomable second thought arrested his approach: he sat down...not easy, nor particularly comfy on a hideless & wire-stiff fused skeletal tail. But sit he did, and in that gentle repose merely observed the melee, presumably waiting patiently to see how events would ultimately unfold.
As events unfolded to Black Jack's perspective, we surmise he must have been thinking he'd just wait until SAS and the ERT wore themselves out, and then pounce for a simple mop-up operation. However, wanting to get a closer look at the meyham, he moved in closer---too close: clearly, he was unaware that Secret Attack Squirrel had earlier slammed down a prodigous breakfast of left-over chili con carn mixed with left-over chili with beans, all of it washed it down with two 16oz bottles of Pepsi and three (WAY-long date-expired) cans of Jolt soad. (Note: this reporter as since learned that the left-over chili was over two-weeks old and had been unrefrigerated, which spells "Fermentation" with a capitol "F".)
We cut to the chase: All who have been following these super-heroic adventures of Secret Attack Squirrel and his crew are aware that his weapon of choice is the infamous, incidious, "fartbomb", and such are prone to an accidental release at any moment. Well, Black Jack Brisco was just two feet away when it happened: an accidental fartbomb release in the midst of the ERT, the four of them together tightly wrapped up in a discarded hair net. Well this was no ordinary fartbomb: the propellant (recall the chili etc) has sinced proofed out at over 90% pure methane, and the ensuing "six ways to Sunday" conflagration goes beyond the pale of of this reporter's language skills.
So let it sufice to say just this: Black Jack Brisco, Secret Attack Squirrel and the ERT all went ballistic in that mushroom cloud of indescribable horrors and the restraining strenth of that old hair-net was just no match for the combined energies of four totally freaked-out squirrels: all have (presumably) gone their seperate ways at mach+ speeds, leaving only smoke-streaks & con-trails to evidence the multiple directions of the manifold, super-sonic departures...
We'll let you know when (if?) any return to safety.
# posted by call me crazy @ 4:58 AM 
