Friday, January 06, 2006
Ah's & Oh's...
!
With little more to go on than a whim & a fancy, Secret Attack Squirrel has begun pondering that potentially life-changing question: "Is it time to retire?"
A resounding, "You're too young to retire!" echoed throughout the lofty halls of SAS's Global Headquarters, followed by, "What would become of us?" (By "us" it can be taken for granted we refere to all SAS staff members, their families, pets and the communal back-scratching post.) And finally, "Has our fearless leader gone nuts?!"
"Yes," said one sadly, adding, "indeed, 'stark raving loonie-tunes' would not be an overstatement...buzzerko, cuckoo crackers, bonkers, mentally unhinged, unscrewed, unwound..."
"ENOUGH!" SAS quickly and loudly admonished from the urinal, then, "We need a knew scent cake in here."
"With all due respect, chief, you're not supposed get IN the urinal to use it."
All which begs the follow-up question: "Wha-hoppin? What overwhelming challenge has so destablized our intrepid hero from that historic single-minded drive in the fight for truth, justice and the American way?"
Secret Attack Squirrel's carefully worded response: "The battle...no, the WAR is lost. Congress has utterly abdicated their role in the Checks & Balance scheme of things, thus allowing duh wittow boy prezidunce to gather all the reins of power into his own two bloody wittow boy monkey-claws...which are controled by a cabal led by evilDick Cha-cha-duh-dooschie-baggie-Cheney. They control the Senate; they control the House; they control the jucidiary; they control the Supreme Court; they control the Pentagon; they control the NSA, the CIA, the FBI, the FEC; the FCC, the DHLS, FOX, CNN, NBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, Cspan I & II, the WSJ, the WaPo, the LAT, the NYT, even the makers of PMS drugs...they control the whole woiks. I even wonder if they somehow control Black Jack Brisco's twisted brain, and that weird tail of his--egads that's scary.
"No, my friends, the situation is insurmountable. The 'Constitutional Crisis' is come & gone & we missed it, the 'wanna-be' dictator now IS Dictator...and that's with a capitol D. The dark side has won. Fascism has won. Tyranny has won. The Constitution of the US is dead, it's ineffectual, now it IS 'just a goddamn piece of paper'...thanks to a cowering, cowardly Congress copulated...oops, I mean POPULATED by a vast majority of criminally insane no-good evil-doers."
I can't go on--too choked up.
USA:RIP
With little more to go on than a whim & a fancy, Secret Attack Squirrel has begun pondering that potentially life-changing question: "Is it time to retire?"
A resounding, "You're too young to retire!" echoed throughout the lofty halls of SAS's Global Headquarters, followed by, "What would become of us?" (By "us" it can be taken for granted we refere to all SAS staff members, their families, pets and the communal back-scratching post.) And finally, "Has our fearless leader gone nuts?!"
"Yes," said one sadly, adding, "indeed, 'stark raving loonie-tunes' would not be an overstatement...buzzerko, cuckoo crackers, bonkers, mentally unhinged, unscrewed, unwound..."
"ENOUGH!" SAS quickly and loudly admonished from the urinal, then, "We need a knew scent cake in here."
"With all due respect, chief, you're not supposed get IN the urinal to use it."
All which begs the follow-up question: "Wha-hoppin? What overwhelming challenge has so destablized our intrepid hero from that historic single-minded drive in the fight for truth, justice and the American way?"
Secret Attack Squirrel's carefully worded response: "The battle...no, the WAR is lost. Congress has utterly abdicated their role in the Checks & Balance scheme of things, thus allowing duh wittow boy prezidunce to gather all the reins of power into his own two bloody wittow boy monkey-claws...which are controled by a cabal led by evilDick Cha-cha-duh-dooschie-baggie-Cheney. They control the Senate; they control the House; they control the jucidiary; they control the Supreme Court; they control the Pentagon; they control the NSA, the CIA, the FBI, the FEC; the FCC, the DHLS, FOX, CNN, NBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, Cspan I & II, the WSJ, the WaPo, the LAT, the NYT, even the makers of PMS drugs...they control the whole woiks. I even wonder if they somehow control Black Jack Brisco's twisted brain, and that weird tail of his--egads that's scary.
"No, my friends, the situation is insurmountable. The 'Constitutional Crisis' is come & gone & we missed it, the 'wanna-be' dictator now IS Dictator...and that's with a capitol D. The dark side has won. Fascism has won. Tyranny has won. The Constitution of the US is dead, it's ineffectual, now it IS 'just a goddamn piece of paper'...thanks to a cowering, cowardly Congress copulated...oops, I mean POPULATED by a vast majority of criminally insane no-good evil-doers."
I can't go on--too choked up.
USA:RIP
# posted by call me crazy @ 2:57 AM 
