Saturday, December 24, 2005
Situational update...
'
Daunted by an inexplicable increase in aerodynamic resistance, early this morning Secret Attack Squirrel checked in for wind-funnel testing with hopes of identifying the mysterious cause of a weird top-speed retardation, diminished flight maneuverability and a reduced stall-out vector.
After running several tests, it was discovered that Black Jack Brisco---the one-eyed broken-tailed cat that attacked Squirrel day-B4-yesterday---was still entangled in that duct tape used for recent battlefield-surgury repairs to Secret's finely tuned and state of the art flight surfaces.
This discovery also led to another revelation: Secret Attack Squirrel had been complaining about loud and incessant sounds best described as "caterwauling" coming from the vicinity of the sticky repairs just mentioned, and now there is little doubt that Black Jack is the source of the complaintive racket.
Attempts at affecting a quick removal of said Tom from said Squirrel have so far proved ineffective, owing to the rapidity of their movements confounded by a thick haze of cat & squirrel fur working in concert to obstruct Secret Attack Squirrel's ERT (Emercency Response Team); to further interfere with advances along these lines, two of the three ERT members have so far been unwilling to approach the fracas: one sighting fear of another accidental fartbomb release; the other listing a whole plethorea of manifold hazards associated with any proximity to an insensed and thoroughly pissed-off alley-cat being duct-taped to a sorely-wounded flying attack squirrel!
Further developments ASAP
Daunted by an inexplicable increase in aerodynamic resistance, early this morning Secret Attack Squirrel checked in for wind-funnel testing with hopes of identifying the mysterious cause of a weird top-speed retardation, diminished flight maneuverability and a reduced stall-out vector.
After running several tests, it was discovered that Black Jack Brisco---the one-eyed broken-tailed cat that attacked Squirrel day-B4-yesterday---was still entangled in that duct tape used for recent battlefield-surgury repairs to Secret's finely tuned and state of the art flight surfaces.
This discovery also led to another revelation: Secret Attack Squirrel had been complaining about loud and incessant sounds best described as "caterwauling" coming from the vicinity of the sticky repairs just mentioned, and now there is little doubt that Black Jack is the source of the complaintive racket.
Attempts at affecting a quick removal of said Tom from said Squirrel have so far proved ineffective, owing to the rapidity of their movements confounded by a thick haze of cat & squirrel fur working in concert to obstruct Secret Attack Squirrel's ERT (Emercency Response Team); to further interfere with advances along these lines, two of the three ERT members have so far been unwilling to approach the fracas: one sighting fear of another accidental fartbomb release; the other listing a whole plethorea of manifold hazards associated with any proximity to an insensed and thoroughly pissed-off alley-cat being duct-taped to a sorely-wounded flying attack squirrel!
Further developments ASAP
# posted by call me crazy @ 5:16 AM 
