Sunday, December 25, 2005
The Separation of Cat & Squirrel Act
'
Eventually exhausting themselves late last night, Black Jack Brisco and Secret Attack Squirrel finally collapsed together unconscious, thus allowing a wary approach by Secret's ERT (Emergency Response Team). Armed with a hacksaw, two critter-muzzles (size small), three rubber mallets, a bottle stopper and three & 1/2 pints of Acne-brand acetone, our intrepid trio threw themselves into hasty action: muzzles were attached, Secret Attack Squirrel's fartbombs were "safed" via corking their launch tube with the bottle stopper and in minutes, the duct tape had been severed and then liberal doses of actone were applied...
...one can only imagine the ERT's surprise and wonderment at the rejuvinating powers associated with pouring high-octane paint remover onto the scratched, bitten, shafed, raw and de-furred hides of these two mortal combatants. Attempts at re-anesthetizing the two with rubber mallets proved ill-conceived and totally ineffective---and then Black Jack and all three members of the ERT were suddenly rendered senseless when a Secret Attack Squirrel fartbomb blew out the launch-tube bottle stopper and exploded right in their faces, briefly lighting up the star-spangled night sky.
This morning, Secret Attack Squirrel is resting (albeit uncomfortably) with the Sunday paper and one bit of good news that caught his swolen eye seems to be acting like a salve for his injuries: tomorrow's Barron weekly investor magazine--a publication of the Wall Street Journal--will feature an op/ed calling for Congressional impeachment hearings against the witto boy pwesidunt for committing impeachable crimes. Secret Attack Squirrel has issued the following statement: "Barron calling for impeachment hearings against this pwezidunt may well turn corporate America against W, and that would be a very bad thing for duh chimp, and a very good thing for US."
And to conclude: upon regaining consciousness last night from the brain-stunning effects of Secret's fartbomb release, Black Jack Brisco split for points unknown and it is hoped he'll not soon return.
!
Eventually exhausting themselves late last night, Black Jack Brisco and Secret Attack Squirrel finally collapsed together unconscious, thus allowing a wary approach by Secret's ERT (Emergency Response Team). Armed with a hacksaw, two critter-muzzles (size small), three rubber mallets, a bottle stopper and three & 1/2 pints of Acne-brand acetone, our intrepid trio threw themselves into hasty action: muzzles were attached, Secret Attack Squirrel's fartbombs were "safed" via corking their launch tube with the bottle stopper and in minutes, the duct tape had been severed and then liberal doses of actone were applied...
...one can only imagine the ERT's surprise and wonderment at the rejuvinating powers associated with pouring high-octane paint remover onto the scratched, bitten, shafed, raw and de-furred hides of these two mortal combatants. Attempts at re-anesthetizing the two with rubber mallets proved ill-conceived and totally ineffective---and then Black Jack and all three members of the ERT were suddenly rendered senseless when a Secret Attack Squirrel fartbomb blew out the launch-tube bottle stopper and exploded right in their faces, briefly lighting up the star-spangled night sky.
This morning, Secret Attack Squirrel is resting (albeit uncomfortably) with the Sunday paper and one bit of good news that caught his swolen eye seems to be acting like a salve for his injuries: tomorrow's Barron weekly investor magazine--a publication of the Wall Street Journal--will feature an op/ed calling for Congressional impeachment hearings against the witto boy pwesidunt for committing impeachable crimes. Secret Attack Squirrel has issued the following statement: "Barron calling for impeachment hearings against this pwezidunt may well turn corporate America against W, and that would be a very bad thing for duh chimp, and a very good thing for US."
And to conclude: upon regaining consciousness last night from the brain-stunning effects of Secret's fartbomb release, Black Jack Brisco split for points unknown and it is hoped he'll not soon return.
!
# posted by call me crazy @ 5:12 AM 
